Sleight of Hand: Tricks for Success in the Writing-Life Balancing Act

This article first appeared in the September-October 2009 issue of The Penn Writer, a bi-monthly newsletter published by Pennwriters, Inc.

Observe, the writer’s magic wand: with one wave, you will be bestowed with days upon days of perfect, uninterrupted writing time.  All your other responsibilities will float away like mist from a lake, leaving you with clarity, vision, and creative depths.

Sound too good to be true?  That’s because it is: for writers, freelancers, artists, and other independent business people, there is no magic wand with which to clear the path of life and add hours to the clock.  Unless you write purely for pleasure on passing whims, you must face the challenge of balancing writing endeavors and the rest of life in order to succeed with your craft.

For some of us, “the rest of life” might include jobs, partners, families, and commitments to community, friends, or personal health.  Some writers experience a natural ebb and flow of creative inspiration.  Other writers might operate at 100% capacity most days, but are no less susceptible than the rest of us to the arrival of a big, heavy-duty monkey wrench thrown keenly into the center of our creative works.

If the challenge is a constant writing-life balancing act, then how do we tip the scales?  In lieu of a magic wand, would you accept a little prestidigitation?  As creative professionals, we have a unique opportunity to leverage our struggle for time and energy into strong, successful writing.

First, let’s consider ourselves (also known as a self-evaluation):

To start with, grab a journal (or a whiteboard, a new word processing document, or a big slice of butcher paper).  Take your time and carefully list what’s important in your life.  Be as specific as you want – the point is to get your brain thinking actively about your priorities, motivations, and goals.  Revisit this process whenever you’re feeling stuck or powerless.

Review your self-evaluation, and consider where the specifics you’ve listed fall into broad categories.  You’re likely to find a handful of items which are all equally mission-critical, while others are less essential.  Some things may seem less important (like the daily dishwashing duty), but unless you’re already independently wealthy and pay someone else to do your dirty dishes, that’s going to be a daily priority.

Now that you’ve considered the layout of your world, it’s time to get crafty.  Remember, you are a creative professional so you don’t need a magic wand for this part – just a little ingenuity, and a willingness to suspend your disbelief long enough to change your reality.

Our solution is neither a matter of exorcizing the unattainable, nor of sacrificing the precious.  Rather, the deceptively simple acts of compromise, integration, and acceptance are going to be the secret ingredients behind our writing-life formula for balance and growth:

At the August 2009 Pennwriters Presents, Guest Speaker Janice Gable Bashman was asked for a few words of wisdom culled during her author interviews.  Her reply includes the following as quoted from an interview in Wild River Review with author/journalist Bill Kent:

“[…] don’t see your writing as a special thing that you can do only when you’ve put the rest of your life on hold; see it as a thing you do regularly, with as little fanfare or expectations as possible.”

Kent goes on to explain that the integration of writing and life results in benefits to both.  Sure, that sentiment looks great in print, but how do we make it work in our lives?  If we strive for balance in order to grow as writers, we must regularly consider our priorities, our motivations, and our goals.  Kent’s methodology suggests that we embrace both life and art as one.

Just as in medicine, not all solutions are right for all people.  Some of us like schedules, some of us prefer to go with the flow.  Some of us live with families or friends, some of us live alone.  Listed below are five tipping points which can be used to adjust the balance of life and writing.  These are not mantras, incantations, or affirmations  (but if you like those, grab hold of Eric Maisel’s Affirmations for Artists, or just keep repeating: “I will make time for life.  I will make time to write.”)  These are simple, common sense methods for transforming dreams into realities.

Honoring Commitments: Communicate Your Needs

In her article “Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear” published this summer in The New York Times, writer Laura A. Munson discusses the challenges of love and partnership.  When her partner drops the bomb “I’m moving out,” Munson gets calm and creative.  Her response: “What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?”

Whether it’s your partner, your colleagues, or your congregation, it’s up to you to communicate your needs so that the people in your life can help you.  To skip this step might result in tearing apart some of the relationships which keep you healthy, happy, and sane enough to be a good writer.

Hand-in-hand with this step is its corollary: “Here is where I will uphold my commitments to you [family, partner, team, etc.]”  Be prepared to offer as much as you ask: if you expect understanding from your friends and family, you must return this gift by setting aside some of your writing aspirations in order to support the people around you.

Working From Home: Close the Door

In his book On Writing, Stephen King tells us that we have to be prepared to close the door and write.  Unless you live alone, there’s more to this than just slamming the door shut.  If you still want a friendly face in your home, you need to communicate with your fellow residents so they understand why the door is closed – and when it’s scheduled to reopen.

This practice isn’t about shutting yourself off from the world, alone in your writer’s paradise.  It’s about creating a space – physical and mental – in which to create.  When you’re a home-based professional, it’s important to establish a known workspace wherein you can practice productive habits, and get the actual writing work done.

Getting Serious: Discipline Yourself

“Someday, when you’re older, you’ll think back and remember ‘gosh, now I know why Mr. Sage kept talking about self-discipline!’ ”

I heard those words regularly in my elementary school years when Mr. Sage, provoked by the careless or lazy efforts of his students, would descend into lengthy lectures on the virtues of self-discipline.  I couldn’t tell you everything he said, only that my memory involves the clock face, the image of Mr. Sage astride his stool, and the echoing phrases above.

As it turns out, Mr. Sage was right.  In my youth, I thought he was pedantic, condescending, and probably wrong.  In my adulthood, I can see how easy it is to skip this step, and how instrumental self-discipline can be in achieving my goals.  Take my friend and Co-Chair of the Pacific Northwest Pennwriters Chapter Anita Marie Moscoso as an example:

Moscoso works multiple jobs and supports kids, household, pups, and partner.  She’s politically active.  She’s always ready to lend a word of advice and insight to her fellow writers.  Moscoso also sets aside 4-5 hours every night to write.  The result: she churns out stories and is making significant progress on her first novel-length manuscript.  In short, she gets it done.

Getting Real: Accept Change

Go back to that list you created with all that’s important in your life.  Now take a look and consider: what’s not critical?  When you decide that you’re serious about writing, some things are going to be sacrificed for the greater good (good writing, that is).

Accept that some things in your life aren’t going to get done, or aren’t going to be completed at the time or to the degree of perfection you might have planned.  Accept that the ideal, uninterrupted writer’s paradise about which so many of us dream is an illusion.

The more you review and rewrite your master list, the more likely it is that you will discover some priorities that are not as important as you once thought.  Be prepared to adjust to the inevitable upheavals in your life.  Dr. Spencer Johnson’s Who Moved My Cheese? provides a clear, easy-to-read discussion on anticipating (and embracing) the one constant common to all of us: change.

Finding Peace of Mind: Embrace Your Experiences

In the autumn of 2008 I was invited for a short radio interview with Robert Krulwich of NPR to discuss Dr. Nalini Nadkarni’s newest book Between Earth and Sky: Our Intimate Connections to Trees, which I helped to produce.  At the time, I had just moved from Philadelphia to Seattle, only to find myself on the way to southern California to help care for a family member.  It seemed like my life had become the perfect storm in which all my writing goals would be funneled up from the earth and then dropped splat-flat.

While traveling through the gorgeous California redwoods via Carmel en route to Santa Barbara, I spoke with Krulwich by phone to make arrangements.  I had searched frantically online using Wi-Fi access to find a recording studio along the way where I could complete the interview.  Krulwich solved my problem with a simple statement: “You’re traveling through the redwoods, and Carmel is beautiful!  You should enjoy all that, and I’ll find us a studio in Santa Barbara.  We’ll talk when you arrive.”

It makes perfect sense: we can’t rush past the pleasures of life, nor can we skip the rough roads.  As Bill Kent reminds us, putting life on hold in exchange for writing is a non-option.  It is our experience which provides the personal resources we need in order to create.  In Ann Charters’ The Story and Its Writer: An Introduction to Short Fiction, we are told that Stephen Crane “believe[d] – as did Ernest Hemingway after him – that ‘the nearer a writer gets to life, the greater he becomes as an artist.’ ”  Every task, event, chore, and chance meeting can be a resource for your writing.  Don’t waste a single experience.

These are just a few ideas for learning to accept, integrate, and compromise in order to achieve the writing-life balance.  When considered in the context of our secret formula (priorities, motivations, and goals), we create opportunities for growth as writers and people.

I cannot guarantee that these methods will solve all your problems, but I believe that attempting them might lead you to the solution that is right for you.  At the very least, these tricks may distract you for a while, and sometimes that’s all we need – a distraction to take our eye off the pea so that the shell game of life can reformulate into new possibilities.

Ash Krafton: Secret Book Spy

Author and fellow Pennwriters member Ash Krafton is sharing a fun two-part series of articles that discuss the process of evolution from novel-writer to novel-author.  Join us at the Pennwriters Area 6 blog for parts 1 & 2:

Part 1: From Writer to Author: How I Became a Secret Book Spy

Busy at Brainripples

Greetings all: time for a little update on Jade Blackwater’s corner of the world.  Photos, notes, sketches, and ideas all pile up, but time just slips right past.  The June Solstice is a mere 10 days away!

Spring has had three main foci for me: garden, writing, and home.  As many of you know I am recently resettled in my home in the forests of Kitsap County, Washington; after nearly four years away, there’s a lot of work to be done.

The garden (i.e. the food supply) has been an important part of my springtime work, and I am pleased to say that small harvests of greens, herbs, fruits, and other cold-weather veggies are finally back on my table.  Pumpkins, corn, beans, melons, and other warm-weather crops are now in the ground.

My writing, while subdued, is slowly reemerging with the restoration of my personal creative studio and the return to my writing routines.  In addition, I’ve teamed up with Anita Marie Moscoso of Owl Creek Bridge to create the Pacific Northwest Pennwriters Chapter.  More on that ahead!

At the house, there are repairs and improvements to be made.  Mousies, bats, birds, insects, snakes, squirrels, and other beasties have all taken advantage of my absence.  Their slow, careful extrication is a part of chores like painting, sealing, cleaning, and clearing.  Gotta love forest life!

Speaking of forests, I am excited to share that Nalini Nadkarni’s book Between Earth and Sky: Our Intimate Connections to Trees was selected among the Best Spiritual Books of 2008.  If you haven’t found time to pick up this book, I hope you’ll add it to your reading list this season for a little green inspiration!

My projects this summer will include more of garden, writing, and home, hopefully with extra emphasis on the writing.  Now that I’m nearly settled I can tackle the hairy, scary task of sifting through several boxes of writing notes from the past five (ok, 10) years, and putting those ideas to work.  I’ll let you know when I find something good.

Until then, enjoy a hot, bittersweet cup of inspiration!

Pennwriters: Resource for Writers

Writing can be a naturally independent and solitary profession.  Even as hobbyists, writers often create their material alone.  Professionals navigate potential writing markets using their own will, initiative, and creativity.

If you are a writer seeking a support, guidance, and networking opportunities, Pennwriters is the organization for you.  Pennwriters’ current goals are as follows:

- Promote excellence in writing;

- Help aspiring authors learn how to become published via traditional, professional venues;

- Advance the careers of published writers;

- Facilitate professional networking between members and representatives of the traditional publishing industry;

- Act as a liaison between authors and booksellers.

Membership is open to all writers at all levels – you do not have to live in Pennsylvania to be a member of Pennwriters.  The Pennwriters organization offers workshops, critique groups, contests, industry news, networking opportunities, and an annual Writers Conference held in a different location in Pennsylvania each year.

I am the new Pennwriters Area 6 Representative which means I work with members in southeastern part of Pennsylvania.  Brainripples readers are familiar with my writing critique group in the Philadelphia Area.  Now that I’m a Rep, I’ll be coordinating workshops, critique groups, and other activities throughout the region.  You’ll hear all about writing activities in my area right here at the Brainripples blog.  Please feel welcome to join us any time!

In May 2008 you will find me in attendance at the Pennwriters Annual Conference, this year hosted in Lancaster, Pennsylvania at The Host Resort.  I’ll be blogging about the conference in more detail soon.  You do not have to be a Pennwriters member to attend our conference.  To learn more and register, visit the Pennwriters website.

PS – Our Philadelphia Writers’ Critique Group meeting is tonight!  Check out the Critique Group page for details, and if you’re in or around Philly, come join us!

Apple Valley Review Spring 2008 Issue Now Online

The Apple Valley Review enters its third year of sharing excellent contemporary literature with the online community.  Apple Valley Review Editor Leah Browning never fails to prepare a unique and thoughtful selection of literary voices offering short fiction, poetry, and essays.

Explore the Apple Valley Review carefully and slowly: Browning affords each voice added depth by regularly publishing multiple works by individual authors, and supplementing each author’s work with a brief, relevant biography.  These final notes usually include the author’s reflection on a given work – a unique opportunity to see the method (and the madness) behind the creative process.

Feature Artist Interview – Lisa D. Kastner

Today it is my pleasure to introduce writer Lisa D. Kastner of the Humna Humna blog for this week’s Feature Artist Interview.

Greetings Lisa, and thank you for joining us at Brainripples for an interview. I’ve been admiring your writing since joining the Philadelphia Writers’ Critique Group in 2006. To give our readers some background, could you tell us about your own beginnings as a writer?

Jade, thank you for inviting me to Brainripples.  When you first mentioned the interview, I was quite flattered (and still am).  The cliché answer is that when I was a pre-teen and teen I maintained a journal.  At the time, I focused on writing music lyrics (I am a music junky).  My writing interests expanded to include poetry (albeit rather bad poetry).  I later dabbled in short stories and wrote for my own enjoyment. 
 
My senior year of high school, my father asked that I pursue a degree useable in a corporate or business setting (Of course, I wanted to pursue a theatrical degree.)  Needless to say, I obtained a Communications degree and for more than ten years provided business writing consultative services to Fortune 500 companies.  
 
A few years after graduation, I realized that writing for business assisted in honing my self editing skills but I was losing my creative expression.  One Saturday I awoke with an image that I had to put on paper.  That afternoon I wrote the first rendition of the short story A Half (which you so kindly provided great feedback).  I stepped away from my computer knowing I needed to write fiction.  
 
Unsure of my skills, I attended the Philadelphia Writers Conference and submitted the short story.  Believe me, I was quite fearful that my workshop leader, Chris Bowman, would turn to me, point and say “WHY are YOU here?  You think you can write?” 
 
Of course this scenario never occurred.  Instead he pulled me aside and said that I had to write.  He said I had the gift and I should actively pursue writing.  This feedback was exactly what I needed.  The conference was six years ago and I  have been writing prose ever since.

Lisa Kastner is the Vice President of Pennwriters. Lisa, would you like to tell us a little about the organization and your goals as VP?

Pennwriters’ mission is to help writers of all levels, from the novice to the award-winning and multi-published, improve and succeed in their craft.  My official role as the VP is basically to do whatever our President asks me to do.  Luckily, Barbara Lockwood is a very kind and generous President.  Much of what I do is shadow her and act as a sounding board for her, our board, and members of the organization.
 
On a personal level, I took the role of VP because I always valued the encouragement provided by Chris Bowman and then later on by many workshop leaders, teachers, editors, and peers. Whenever I doubted my ability, a kind soul pulled me from my slump and reinforced that I am a writer and that I have talent.  I wanted to be in a position to do the same for other new writers.  What better way than to be on the board of an organization dedicated to helping writers?
 
The worst feeling in the world when you first pursue writing, as either a hobby or a profession, and wonder “Should I do this?  Am I a truly talented writer or are the words I put on the page something only a family member would appreciate?” 
 
Brainripples readers can find your blog Humna Humna in the sidebar. Will you be blogging about the upcoming 2008 Annual Pennwriters Conference in Lancaster PA?

During the conference, I would love to see attendees blog about it.  I think reading about it from the perspective of attendees is much more interesting.  This enables us to see the varying perspectives and thereby obtain a fuller and more interesting picture of the events.
 
Prior to the actual conference, I will post updates regarding the activities on Humna Humna.   
 
Your fiction is often set in the Pennsylvania / New Jersey region. What aspect(s) of the local culture do you find most inspiring for your work?
 
Excellent question.  Admittedly, I don’t write about Pennsylvania and New Jersey intentionally. I often begin writing a piece based on an image or a sentence or an idea and then follow that stream of conciousness.  After time, I review what’s on the page to find prominent themes and how I can develop them. 
 
When I was the Features Editor of the Picolata Review, one of my favorite questions was, “Do you think environment plays a major role in your writing?”  Emphatically the answers were yes.  I agree but I think the reason I write about the cultures in PA and NJ is because I grew up in the area surrounded by quirky and interesting people. 
 
I’m attracted to those who are a touch outside the norm or on the fringe.  I like to figure out why they do what they do … in essence, how they think. (Probably because I am a self-proclaimed “person on the fringe”.)  Usually these same people exist in environments as complex as themselves.  Believe me, there are some areas of Pennsylvania and New Jersey that are the typical USA neighborhoods, I just don’t write about them.

Your fiction also often includes themes of urban life and the human experience, as well as – shall we say – the darker shades of life and mind. Could you describe some of your successes (or challenges) with writing accessible, compelling characters from such chilling perspectives?

Even those in the depths of darkness have light.  A yin and a yang.  But their yin and yang are out of balance.  The key is finding that bit of light and allow the reader to see it and to experience it.  In A Half a woman who lost her twin sister is in a panic and races through her childhood home.  She hallucinates or imagines that she is reexperiencing her sister’s drowning.  At the end of the piece, the reader discovers why this trek was so important to her – she needed to uncover the one picture she had of her and her twin – a tangible piece of a happier time with the person who completed her.  We have all lost someone we loved, whether a romantic interest or a friend or a member of the family.  My challenge was to tap those emotions of love and loss via imagery and scene so that the reader could experience it and therefore empathize with the heroine.

What writing genres and elements do you prefer as a writer (or a reader)?

I read multiple styles of fiction writing and nonfiction.  My favorite novel is Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison.  I also read bestsellers like the Kite Runner and the Harry Potter series.  I enjoy writers from Nick Hornby (About A Boy) to Percival Everett (The Water Cure) to classic Anne Rice (Interview with the Vampire) to Tolkein (Lord of the Rings) to Salman Rushdie (The Moor’s Last Sigh).  I believe we learn from all writing.  We learn what we like and don’t like, then alter our selections based on these discoveries. 
 
I read as a reader and as a writer.  I loved About A Boy.  Some writers do not enjoy Nick Hornby because much of what occurs is internal dialogue and telling the reader what the character is thinking instead of showing it.  For his writing style, I think it works beautifully.  In contrast, I thoroughly enjoyed Metal Shredders by Nancy Zafris.  Nancy focuses on the top story and then teases out the inner workings of the characters from that top story. 
 
The bottom line for me is, if it works (for me) then I like it. 
 
Are you currently experimenting with anything new in your writing?
 
When I write novel length prose, I tend to create a very rough outline and then use it as a writing prompt.  Right now I’m experimenting with writing via stream of consciousness, which is my standard method to craft short stories.  So far the process has been incredibly interesting.  I have 113 pages of a very rough draft and I really enjoy the process.  My goal is to have a readable rough draft by the 2008 Pennwriters Conference in May.

You’ve attended a variety of workshops, seminars, and conferences for writers. Would you tell us about a few of your favorites?

In all honesty, I have enjoyed each one.  I have been priviledged to attend Bread Loaf Writers Conference and workshops by Percival Everett and Danzy Senna.  I learned as much from the workshop leaders as my peers (Many of my ‘peers’ are much more accomplished than me, so I don’t feel the term “peer” is accurate.  They are absolutely brilliant writers who I am honored to have encountered.)  At Bread Loaf much of the experience is simply being in a focused creative environment among like minded people.   Michael Collier, the Director of Bread Loaf says in his opening remarks that lifelong friends are made there.  I still email, talk, and are MySpace and Facebook friends with fellow attendees.  It is a magical experience.
 
I have also attended Kenyon Review Writers Workshop which is an intensive week of writing, workshopping, writing, workshopping and … oh right … writing.  I had the privilege of attending Nancy Zafris and Geeta Kothari’s class.  Let me say that Nancy Zafris is such an excellent teacher and guide that she frightened me.  And Geeta looked at drafts and asked the right questions which forced me to think and bring the piece to an entirely new level.  Our workshop became a family after the first day and for that, I am forever grateful.  Again, I believe lifelong friendships were formed with incredibly talented attendees.  I am still amazed at the phenomenal writing that was produced on a daily (in reality, nightly) basis.
 
Another key guide in my writing has been James Rahn, the founder and leader of Rittenhouse Writers Group.  I attended the University of Pennsylvania’s Conference for Writers and signed up for James’s advanced workshop.  The previous day, I attended another fabulous intensive workshop conducted by Robin Black.  When James walked into the workshop he sat down, looked around the room, got up, walked right up to me and said, “You were in Robin Black’s class yesterday right? You’re Lisa?” I squeaked, “Yes.”  Then he pointed at me, grinned, and said, “Good!”  Later he invited me to join Rittenhouse Writers Group.  Another amazing experience with great readers and great writers.
 
And of course, I frequent the Pennwriters Annual Writers Conference.  The first time I attended the conference, I was amazed at the openness and encourangement of everyone.  We have writers that represent all genres and all walks of life, yet when we get together it’s about the writing.  We focus on encouraging both the established and the new writer.  Definitely another family I cherish.
 
I know you do more than write. Would you like to share some of your performing arts projects?

My last performance was a benefit for Women Against Rape.  We presented a staged reading of The Rape Poem.  A woman who had been raped wrote a series of poems based on her emotions and their evolution while she healed from the emotional and physical trauma. A playright read the poems and converted them into an experimental one act play.  I played the role of Wine (anger).  I have a feeling I was cast due to my firey red hair.  Sometimes type casting can be positive. 
 
At this point in my life, I audition for roles if my friends recommend them to me or if I’m asked to audition.  Performing consumes a lot of time (I’m a bit of a perfectionist) and right now I would rather focus on the writing craft.

What about your day job? (How) has consulting benefited your growth as a writer?

Consulting has been invaluable in my development.  Each company has a distinct voice to its writing, so the initial challenge is to understand the company’s culture to best represent that voice. 
 
As I had mentioned earlier, corporate writing has taught me how to step back and assess my own writing.  Most corporate editors do not want to see a piece until the writer is 99% sure it is complete.  If anything is presented before that time it’s considered amateurish. 
 
Consulting has also taught me to research, research, research – understand what already exists and how to leverage it.  Don’t take anything for granted because the more knowledge you have, the better the work. 
 
It has also taught me that work is always better when it is done in collaboration.  The trick in fiction is to find readers who provide feedback in a way that is in alignment with your goals as a writer and to find a stellar critiquer who states the feeback in a way that is easily implemented.

What are your goals as a writer and artist?

My ultimate goal is to be a full time fiction writer. The reality is that very few writers are lucky enough to write full time, so I may be in my 50s before this occurs, but I will enjoy the ride.  In terms of writing as an artist, I’m finding the evolution of my prose to be really interesting.  When I started this journey, I never thought I would write a novel written from the perspective of a woman who is devolving emotionally and mentally to become a celebrity stalker.  I can’t wait to see what I come up with next.
 
As an artist, I want to delve into other forms such as painting and sculpting.  In high school, I had an art major and I miss those creative outlets.  Now it’s just a matter of finding the time.
 
Could you tell us about some of your current and upcoming writing projects?

I am currently shopping Jersey Diner, a psychological thriller which engages readers in the twisted realities of heroine Nadia Scott, a waitress at the Athens Diner in Oaklyn, New Jersey.  When Nadia’s father commits suicide she rapidly disconnects from rationality and reality.
 
As I mentioned previously I am in the midst of crafting another manuscript but I’m not comfortable sharing what it is about since it seems to be evolving.  I am also sending out multiple short stories, including A Half, to publications.  I must admit, I tend to send my writing out in spurts.  I need to be more disciplined with submissions.

What are some of your favorite successes as a writer?

Acceptance to Bread Loaf and Kenyon.  The day I received my acceptance letters, my mouth flew open, surprised that I had been accepted. When someone reads my prose and says it meant something to them on a personal level or made them think or somehow changed how they viewed the world, I am euphoric. 
 
Some of my favorite successes are also as a reader of prose and poetry.  When I read a fellow writer’s piece and am able to provide constructive, positive feedback that encourages the person to continue writing … well, the knowledge that I helped that writer, in the smallest tangential way means the world.

What advice would you give other independent writers?

Read often.  Write often.  Never give up.  Find your stellar critiquer.  When someone says you’re good, listen.  They are telling you this for a reason.

Lisa, thank you again for joining us at Brainripples – we wish you the best in your future endeavors.
 
Thank you, Jade.  By the way, I need to mention that Jade is one of my stellar critiquers.  She provides amazing and insightful feedback that forces me to look at the piece with an entirely different eye.  Thank you for that gift.

[Insert Jade’s blush here.]